I love all of my moots and I hope all of you can have a good day even if im not. My parents joke around saying that im depressed because I dont talk or in always so slow and I stay in my room all day. Sometimes I think about everything and how it couldve been different such as opportunities I had in the past and it just makes me hate myself. The question makes me tear up and I just wanna be with my gf, brother, and friends because those people are the only people I feel like I can be myself around. Everyday feels like a repeating process and then people ask me whats wrong but deep down I know they dont care but either way I say im fine because I dont want them to worry. Everybody nowadays are always trying to be somebody they’re not ( Ja Morant ) and im getting sick of it because you dont need to be famous or be with a group, just find the right people that you can be yourself around and live life. I feel so happy for others but I dont think anyone is ever happy for me. If going to the NFL doesnt work out I dont know what im going to do because its my only dream and goal because I just want to be happy at what I do for the rest of my life and I want my parents to be happy and actually live life good. My birthday is coming up but im not strictly happy its kind of a normal day to me it only means ill be gone sooner. The only thing thats keeping me going is God, loved ones, and music. Whenever something good happens sure im happy but ill never have the same happy feeling again. Counselors wont even do anything about and which ill do anything to atleast be happy again.

Nobody cares and its like im invisible sometimes I hate my classes but I usually end with good grades because what else is there to do in school when you have no classes together with your friends and not even lunch. Im so tired once my vsp and alight motion ends i’ll probably stop and quit for a little bit and maybe ill come back for an edit.

Solow redline american idol